|
FEATURED ITEMS
Minnesota Twins Home Sweet Home Sign
$18.00
CLICK
HERE
Minnesota Vikings Fan Cave Sign
$22.00
CLICK HERE
Minnesota Vikings Lights and Sounds Plane
$10.00
CLICK HERE
Minnesota Twins 2011 Semi Truck
$15.00
CLICK
HERE
Minnesota Twins Property of Twins Short
Sleeve T-Shirt
$20.00
CLICK
HERE
-------------------
PRIVACY STATEMENT
All of the information you submit on DomePlus.Com is
private. We will never sell, loan or give away your personal information. The SECURE Order
Form protects Your Credit Card Data, but you may also call with your
information.
| |
 Minnesota
Vikings Joke Page
Last Updated: 01/30/12
CHOOSE: The Genie, Pamela Anderson, God and MN, John Elway, Ice Fishing, Lottery, Vikings Fan, Trial, Mountain Climbing, The Car Crash, Packer Joke, The Library, The Drive
The Genie
A Bears fan, a Packers Fan, and a Vikings fan are out walking
together one day. They come across a lantern and a Genie pops out of it. "I
will give you each one wish, that's three wishes total," says the Genie.
The Bears fan says, "I am a farmer, my dad was a farmer, and my son will also farm.
I want the land to be forever fertile in Illinois. "With a blink of the
Genie's eye, 'FOOM' the land in Illinois was forever made fertile for farming.
The Packer fan was amazed, so he said, "I want a wall around Wisconsin, so that no
infidels, Bears Fans or Viking Fans can come into our precious state." Again,
with a blink of the Genie's eye, 'POOF' there was a huge wall around Wisconsin.
The Viking fan asks, "I'm very curious. Please tell me more about this
wall." The Genie explains, "Well, it's about 150 feet high, 50 feet thick and
completely surrounds the state; nothing can get in or out." The Viking
fan says, "Fill it up with water."
THE VIKING FAN, THE PACKER FAN,
AND PAMELA ANDERSON
A Viking fan, a Packer fan, and Pamela Anderson are sitting together in
a train traveling through Switzerland when the train enters a tunnel and
the car goes completely dark. There's a kissing noise, and then the
sound of a really loud slap.
When the train comes out of the tunnel, Pamela Anderson and the Viking Fan are sitting as
if nothing had happened, and the Packer fan is holding his slapped face.
The Packer fan is thinking, "That Viking fan must have kissed Pamela
Anderson and she swung at him and missed, slapping me instead."
Pamela Anderson is thinking, "That Packer fan must have tried to kiss
me, accidentally kissed the Viking fan, and got slapped for it."
And the Viking fan is thinking, "This is great. The next time the train
Goes through a tunnel, I'll make another kissing noise and slap that
fucking Packer fan again."
God and MN
Once upon a time in the Kingdom of Heaven, God was missing for six days. Eventually,
Michael the archangel found him, resting on the seventh day. He inquired of God,
"Where have you been?" God sighed a deep sigh of satisfaction and proudly
pointed downwards through the clouds, "Look Michael, look what I've made."
Archangel Michael looked puzzled and said, "What is it?" "It's a
planet," replied God, "and I've put LIFE on it. I'm going to call it Earth and
it's going to be a great place of balance." "Balance?" inquired Michael,
still confused. God explained, pointing to different parts of Earth, "For
example, Northern Europe will be a place of great opportunity and wealth while
Southern Europe is going to be poor; the Middle East over there will be a hot spot.
Over there I've placed a continent of white people and over there is a continent
of black people," God continued, pointing to different countries. "This
one will be extremely hot and arid while this one will be very cold and covered in
ice." The Archangel, impressed by Gods work, then pointed to a large land mass and
said "What's that one?" "Ah," said God. "That's Minnesota, the
most glorious place on Earth. There's beautiful lakes, rivers, streams and an exquisite
shore-line along the Great Lakes. The people from Minnesota are going to be modest,
intelligent and humorous and they're going to be found traveling the world. They'll
be extremely sociable, hard-working and high-achieving, and they will be known
throughout the world as diplomats and carriers of peace. I'm also going to
give them super-human, undefeatable football team who will be admired and feared by
all who come across them." Michael gasped in wonder and admiration but then
proclaimed. "What about balance, God? You said there will be BALANCE!"
God
replied wisely. "Wait until you see the loud-mouth bastards I'm putting next to them
in Wisconsin."
John Elway
John Elway, after living a full life, died. When he got to
heaven, God was showing him around. They came to a modest little house with a faded
Broncos flag in the window.
"This house is yours for eternity, John," said God." This is very
special; not everyone gets a house up here."
John felt special, indeed, and walked up to his house.
On his way up the porch, he noticed another house just around the corner. It was a 3-story
mansion with a purple and yellow sidewalk, 50 foot tall flagpole with an enormous Vikings
logo flag, and in every window, a Helga Hat.
John looked at God and said "God, I'm not trying to be ungrateful, but I have a
question. I was an all-pro QB, I won 2 Super Bowls, and I even went to the
hall of fame."
God said "so what do you want to know, John?"
"Well, Why does Randall Cunningham get a better house than me?"
God chuckled and said "John, that's not Randall Cunningham's house, it's mine."
Ice Fishing
The Vikings and the Packers had an ice fishing tournament.
The first day the Vikings caught 100 fish, and the Packers didn't catch any.
The second day, the Vikings caught 200 fish and the Packers didn't catch any.
The third day the Packers were getting worried, so they dressed Bret Favre up like a
The Lottery
A man won the lottery and won about $140 million. He had
three sons.
He told his sons that he had won the lottery, that he now had a lot of
money, and he would like to know what each one of them would like to have.
Money was no object...
The first one said that he had always wanted a Jaguar. The
father went out and, since money was no object, bought him 7 Jaguars in different colors
so that he would have a different one to drive every day of the week.
The second son said that he had always wanted a motorcycle, so
the father went out and, since money was no object, bought him 30 new motorcycles, 15 dirt
bikes and 15 touring bikes, so he would have different bikes to drive every day of the
month.
The third and youngest son, being only 8 years old, said that
he had always wanted a Mickey Mouse outfit. So, money being no object, his father
went out and bought his son the Green Bay Packers.
The Vikings Fan
The Packers had taken the field when they noticed a Viking fan
standing in front of the tunnel taunting them and hollering a bevy of lurid put downs.
After listening to as much as they could take, the entire Packers defensive
backfield chased the Viking fan into the tunnel. Five minutes later they came
crawling out all bloodied and beaten, followed by the Viking fan who was still hollering.
After a few more minutes of this the Packers entire offensive line chased the
Vikings fan into the tunnel. After another five minutes had passed they came
crawling out looking even worse than the last bunch. They were also followed by the
Viking fan who was, by this time, getting even louder. Finally, after listening to
the Viking fan as long as he could, Ray Rhodes set his remaining 36 players into the
tunnel after the Viking fan. About ten minutes passed and finally, one bloodied
Packer came crawling out and hollered to the coach, "It's a trap. There's two
of them."
The Trial
Their was this kid who got really beat up by his parents they
used to just really hit him and make him bleed, it was terrible. One day when he got
the
Mountain Climbing
Their were four fans of the NFC Central. One was representing the
Bears, one was
The Car Crash
There's a guy from Green Bay (Packer fan) driving from Green Bay
to
Minneapolis and a guy from Minneapolis (Vikings fan) driving from
Minneapolis to Green Bay. In the middle of the night, with no other
cars on the road, they hit each other head on and both cars go flying
off in different directions. The Vikings fan manages to climb out of his
car and survey the damage. He looks at his twisted car and says, "Man,
I am really lucky to be alive!" Likewise the Packer fan scrambles out of
his car and looks at his wreckage. He too says to himself, "I can't
believe I survived this wreck!" The Packer fan walks over to the Vikings
fan and says, "Hey man, I think this is a sign from God that we should
put away our petty differences and live as friends instead of arch
rivals." The Vikings fan thinks for a moment and says, "You know, your
absolutely right! We should be friends." The Vikings fan pops open his
trunk and finds a full unopened bottle of Jack Daniels. He says to the
Packer fan, " I think this is another sign from God that we should toast
to our new found understanding and friendship." The Packer fan says,
"You're right!" and he grabs the bottle and starts sucking down Jack
Daniels. After putting away nearly half the bottle, the Packer fan
hands it back to the Vikings fan and says, "Your turn!" The Vikings
fan twists the cap back on the bottle and says, "Nah, I think I'll wait
for the cops to show up!!!!
Packer Joke
A Viking fan in a bar leans over to the guy next to him and says,
"Wanna hear a joke about Packer fans?"
The guy next to him replies, "Well before you tell that joke you should know
something. I'm 6' tall and 220 pounds and I'm a Packer fan. The guy
sitting next
The Library
Packer fan walks into the library and says, "I'll have a
hamburger, Coke and fries." The librarian says, "Sir, this is a
library." The packer fan whispers: "I'll have a hamburger, Coke and
fries."
The Drive
A Viking fan used to amuse himself by scaring every Green Bay
Packer fan he would see strutting down the side of the road in their obnoxious green and
yellow colors. He would swerve his purple and gold van as if to hit them and, at the last
instant, he would swerve back onto the road.
One day, as the van driver was driving along, he saw a priest hitchhiking. He thought he
would do a good turn and pulled the van over. He asked the priest, "Where are you
going, Father?"
"I'm going to say Mass at St. Joseph's Church, about five miles down the road,"
replied the priest.
"No problem, Father! I'll give you a lift. Climb in!"
The happy priest climbed into the passenger seat and the van continued down the road.
Suddenly the driver saw a Packer fan walking down the road and
instinctively swerved as if to hit him but, just in
time, he swerved back. Thinking he'd narrowly missing the fellow, he still heard a loud
"THUD."
Not understanding where the noise came from he
glanced in his mirrors and he didn't see anything.
Remembering his passenger, he turned to the priest and said, "I'm sorry, Father. I
almost hit that Green Bay Packer fan."
"That's okay," replied the priest. "I got the bastard
with the door!"
The Minnesota Vikings name and Logos are the property of
the Minnesota Vikings and the National Football League (NFL). Dome Souvenirs Plus is
not associated with either of these entities.
|
